I'm not ready for New Year's Resolutions...

...Or maybe I am ready. I mean, I only have one: Finding Balance. It's not very specific, but certainly important considering how my year ended up (with me feeling like there wasn't nearly enough time for any of the things that I thought were important). I feel like I'm doing okay balancing so far, although we're only a week into the year.

But I think it's also important to revisit my goals from last year- the ones that I wrote when I started this blog back in March. It was Brody's birthday, which is quickly approaching again. My baby is going to be two soon! Before that anniversary, I figured I better check in to see how far I've gotten (or just how off track).

So here's my original list of what I wanted to change:

-Lose weight
-Have a more active lifestyle
-Cook food at home
-Eat healthier food (less fast food)
-Find a hobby
-Spend less money at Target
-Improve the world (volunteer)
-Drink less soda
-Use reusable bags
-Spend less time on the computer
-Stop reading emails, etc. while driving
-Let Chris know that I appreciate him
-Keep my car clean

The biggest success? I lost the weight that I wasn't sure I was ever going to lose. And more importantly, I've kept it off for several months and didn't even rebound during the holidays. Hurray! I'd like to say that I'm eating healthy and exercising and I've changed my whole life around to be far more healthy. I'd like to, but I can't. No, what really happened is I went on Weight Watchers, semi-starved myself for a few months, and then have tried not to binge-eat since then.

I think part of my problem was that I eat when I am stressed or bored, and at the time when I started this blog, I was stressed out about being pretty much a full-time stay at home mom to an infant (which also made me a little bored). Some stay at home moms are amazing at their job and think that's the best thing in the world. And I know that there are other moms who have to work full-time and just wish they had the option to stay at home. Neither of those are me. I need to work part-time in order to have a break from a life revolving around sleep schedules and breast feeding and dirty diapers.

Now that Brody has gotten a little older, life has gotten a little easier- no more breast feeding, and the sleep schedule (although certainly not perfect) is much, much better. Even potty training is on its way. And starting last fall, I was able to pick up a few more hours at work, which gives me less time for boredom (at the eating that goes with it). Which all adds up to a skinnier me! I mean, I'm certainly no super model, but I do feel much better after leaving behind that extra 25 pounds I've been carrying around for way too long.

And as for the other goals on my list? I don't think I was nearly as successful with those, although there was definitely at least some progress in each of them. There are a few that I am trying to revisit as this new year has begun- making time to cook at home for most meals (and therefore eating healthier and drinking less soda), spending less time on the computer (although hopefully blogging with a little more regularity since it helps to keep me sane), and having a more active lifestyle (I need to find at least one class at the gym that I can commit to on a weekly basis). I was doing all of these fairly well for awhile last summer, but then I got caught up in working more hours and volunteering at Jake's school and wasn't quite able to balance it all.

Time to start balancing...

Menu Planning... Starting Afresh in the New Year

Okay, new year, time for new resolutions. This is my year of trying to find balance. I want to continue working, volunteering at Jake's school, being home with the kids... but I don't want to feel so stressed out trying to fit it all in. I need to revisit my goals from last year. Things were going pretty well until the school year started in the fall, and I no longer seemed to have enough time for everything. I stopped cooking, didn't make it to the Farmer's Markets to buy fresh produce, and our eating habits suffered. And I honestly don't remember the last time I made it to the gym. Miraculously, I haven't really put any weight back on (at least not yet), but now seems like a good time to get things back in line before they go quickly downhill.

Finding Balance. Not sure how to make it happen yet, but I do know that it all goes better when I plan everything out ahead of time. Maybe it's just the act of making the list itself that helps me feel more organized. So, here's my first list for 2011- meal plans for this week and next. Happy New Year!

Wednesday

• French Dip Sandwiches and Sweet Potato Fries

Thursday

• Meatloaf muffins and corn

Friday

• Dinner out at the Food Trucks (First Friday in Westchester)

Saturday

• Crowd Pleasing Chili and cornbread muffins

Sunday

• Leftovers

Monday

• Chicken and rice casserole with broccoli

Tuesday

• Leftovers

Wednesday

• Dinner out

Thursday

• Soup and grilled cheese

Friday

• Chicken burritos

Stress over the holidays? Naw...

It's well after midnight and I've been lying in bed for at least half an hour, but it feels like much longer. I'm tired, but nowhere near falling asleep. Usually when this happens, there are about five dozen things that I am thinking about that absolutely positively need to be done ASAP, but I've decided that I need sleep even more than I need to get them done. Tonight, no such worries. Was it the Coke that I drank right before bed that is now keeping me up? Probably not since I've gone back to drinking way too much soda, and the caffeine is running through my veins at a pretty constant level.

I actually think I'm at a pretty good place right now in terms of my things-to-do list. My Christmas shopping is pretty much done, and almost all of the presents are even wrapped. I'm off from work for two weeks, and managed to get all of my reports done before leaving. Of course, there are some things that just didn't get done before I left Los Angeles with the boys to head home for the holidays (Chris will join us later). Like sweeping and mopping the floors so that the house would actually be clean when we return. Or writing my notes from work. Or our Christmas cards. I'm still hoping to get those done this week, though, even though I know it means many people probably won't actually receive them until after Christmas. Is that important? I don't know- it's something that I think really would have bothered me in the past. Which made me start thinking.

A friend that I hadn't seen in awhile was visiting recently during my absolutely most crazy busy week of this year. Which is saying a lot considering I feel like life has been pretty nonstop crazy since Jake started kindergarten this year. I was in the midst of organizing some continuing education courses for work, while juggling fundraising events and meetings at Jake's school, on top of my usual routine of work and caring for my kids. And on the first day of the series of three courses, it was pretty chaotic- the AV equipment wasn't doing what it was supposed to (even though I had checked everything out ahead of time, and it worked fine on the trial run), and the kids that were supposed to come for demos were calling out sick. Of course, everything was worked out, and the courses ended up going great. But I remember my friend asking about how I was doing it without appearing overly stressed. Basically, what she asked was, does having kids make you no longer "sweat the small stuff"?

The small stuff- like whether our Christmas cards arrive before or after Christmas? Whether or not my notes from September get finished by the end of the year? Whether over the holidays I put back on five of those 25 pounds I lost this year, and then have to work them back off when I get home? Are those the things keeping me up at night?

I don't know, I think there's just so much "stuff" that there's just not enough time to stress over all of it. I think having two kids and a busy schedule has helped me to learn how to multi-task even better than before. And how to prioritize. Like remembering to move our Elf on the Shelf to a new location for Jake to find in the morning. To put on the Phineas and Ferb Christmas CD and dance around the living room. To take the time to let Jake help wrap presents. His favorite part? Writing the "to" and "from" labels. But instead of just a simple label, he likes to write sentences on each package like, "I Love You. Jayden I hope You Have A Great Christmas. To Jayden Love Jake And Brody." All while slowly sounding out each word and confirming which letters spell what he's trying to say.

So no, I didn't really cross anything off my to-do list today. And I certainly wasn't a perfect mom making the most of every single moment. But all in all, I'd say that I am very much enjoying making some new holiday memories with my boys.

Saying Goodbye

There are moments when I consider whether or not I really want to be a parent. Does this make me a bad mom? Like this morning... I don't know why Jake was having a hard time getting ready for school. I just know that everything turned into an argument, no matter what I said. Maybe he was still tired. Maybe he's coming down with whatever caused me to lose my voice last week. Or maybe he's just not a morning person. All I know is that it was a struggle for him to get dressed, eat breakfast, put on shoes and get out the door. And don't even get me started on finishing up the last of his homework from this week- that's a whole other post for me to write. I think I even breathed a sigh of relief as I drove off this morning and Chris took Jake to school.

And then I got some news on my way to work. Earlier, I received an email from a teacher at one of the schools where I provide physical therapy services. Call me ASAP was all it said. Curious, I called her on my way in to the clinic.

"I have to give you some bad news," she said. It was about one of the children that I treat at school twice a week. He passed away on Wednesday. It was a complete shock to everyone, including his family. He had had health issues in the past related to his metabolic disorder. And he was in the hospital now due to some difficulties with his medications. But earlier this week, we still thought he was being released and would be back at school before the end of the week. His teacher didn't know the details- his mom was of course pretty shaken up when she talked to her yesterday. The teacher promised to forward me the details about the funeral arrangements when she knew more.

I hung up in shock, and I think I'm still there. My heart is breaking for his family and everyone who knew and loved him. He was only four years old.

Please hold your children tight and tell them that you love them today. Everything else seems trivial.

Menu Planning... Trying to get back into the routine

Last week was pretty good in that I managed to make dinner at home 5 out of 7 nights. Which was exactly what I planned for, so I'd call that a success! Especially since before that, I've been averaging only one to two meals a month cooked at home.

I learned from my friends on Facebook that maybe everyone else doesn't do as great of a job of cooking at home every night that I think they do. After my post about struggling to make dinner one night, some wrote that they were having pizza delivered, eating Chinese food, or having hot dogs at Target. And others had good suggestions to make it a little easier- crockpot cooking, making breakfast for dinner, having frozen pizza on hand, making soup/chili ahead of time, or using a meal planning website. Great suggestions! My go-to easy meal is usually something from the frozen section at Trader Joe's. They have yummy orange chicken, frozen meatballs (for sandwiches or to throw in pasta sauce), and lots of great frozen veggie combos. I recently sampled their frozen turkey meatloaf with mashed potatoes and ended up bringing those home, too (they're on the menu plan this week!). But for me, the biggest help is just planning ahead and then having the motivation to stick with it instead of having Chris pick something up on his way home from work.

The part that I really didn't do well last week was the exercise plan. I didn't make it to the gym at all. There's so much going on during the week that it's too hard to fit in exercise in the mornings. And then on the weekends, there's always something else with the family that takes priority. For now, I'm going to take that off my list, and just focus on getting back into the cooking routine. Here's the dinner plan for this week:

Sunday: Stuffed peppers (since I didn't find time to make them last week)
Monday: Meatloaf "muffins" with mashed potatoes
Tuesday: Spiral pasta with vodka sauce
Wednesday: Chicken burritos
Thursday: Leftovers
Friday: Italian pasta soup and grilled cheese
Saturday: We're going to be busy all day, so we'll go out or pick something up for dinner

As long as I can make it to the grocery store by Tuesday, I think I can make it happen!

Meals and Exercise... I just need a plan

Tomorrow is Halloween. Which means that the end of the year is coming quickly. I love the holiday season, but it's always stressful- too much to do and not enough time.

I feel like I'm losing it lately. I find myself frustrated with the kids, annoyed that I'm not making time for exercising, and disappointed that I'm eating way too much unhealthy take-out food again. I know it's time to take a look back at my goals that I set for myself in March, but I'm afraid that I've slipped so far backwards that I'll feel like a failure.

I need to get back to blogging, because that was the one thing that made me accountable and helped me to stick to my plan. What changed that led me to stop blogging? Time. I picked up more hours at work, and at the same time I started volunteering at Jake's new school. A little bit in the classroom, but mostly with the parent organization supporting the school. My job: fundraising. Which is basically a full-time job in and of itself. The school needs money in order to get all of the programs off the ground that we want in our brand-new elementary: art, music, PE, library, garden, playground supplies, field trips, and a million other "extras" that no longer fit into the basic school budget. All of which are important, and all of which require money to get the programs up in running. If I'm going to lead the fundraising committee, I want to do it well. And that's one job where no matter how much time I devote to planning events, soliciting donations, writing grants, etc. etc. etc... there's always more that can be done.

I don't know if I can make the time to get back to blogging with any regularity. But I do know that if I don't do my menu planning, we end up eating out or picking up take out for almost every meal. So I'm going to try to start with that. And here's my plan for the week.

Breakfasts: Frozen waffles. I think we'll try to make to the Farmer's Market tomorrow morning to pick up some fruits so that we'll have some options.

Lunches: I'll have to see if I can make enough dinners to have leftovers available for lunches. Otherwise, I have some frozen meals stored up.

Sunday:

• Dinner: Pre trick-or-treating meal with friends. Not sure what we'll have yet. (Edit: Pizza)
• Exercise: Pilates Didn't make it

Monday:

• Dinner: Chicken Salad (made ahead of time on Sunday)

Tuesday:

• Dinner: Stuffed Peppers Chicken and Bacon Sub Sandwiches
• Exercise: Muscle strength class- trying out a new class at the gym Didn't make it

Wednesday:

• Dinner: French Dip Sandwiches with Sweet Potato Fries

Thursday:

• Dinner: Grilled chicken and frozen veggies
• Exercise: Muscle strength class (if I liked it on Tuesday), or maybe just treadmill Didn't make it

Friday:

• Dinner: Leftovers Chris and I got a babysitter and went out to dinner

Saturday:

• Dinner: Dinner out somewhere to celebrate eating in the rest of the week. Dude, if I actually cook dinner four nights in a row this week, it'll be a huge improvement over the last month or two. Edit: Leftovers.

Sunday: Daylight Savings Time Ends! And time to create another meal plan. Fingers crossed that I can stick with this one.  :)

Somebody Please Stop Time, So That I Can Catch Up

You may have noticed, I haven't been blogging much lately. (And if you haven't noticed, please don't tell me, you'll hurt my feelings.) It's been a month since I've posted anything at all, and two months since I posted anything much more than food/menu planning stuff. It's not that I haven't had anything to say, it's just that I haven't been able to figure out how to make time to write it. Don't know how to get back in the swing of things, but for now, this'll have to do. :)

Jake turned 5 last month. He had his last day of preschool a couple of weeks ago. And today he started Kindergarten. I realize in the grand scheme of things, this isn't really a big deal. Another birthday, another transition- he'll have many more of each. But for some reason, it feels like a pretty big deal. This is "real" school- no turning back now.

This was what Jake decided to wear to his preschool graduation. He might have been slightly overdressed, but man, what a cute kid.

And here is Jake, ready for school this morning. I'll spare you the later pictures of him, crying and clinging to mommy. Luckily, I was able to turn away so that he couldn't see my watery eyes (there were no pictures of that).

At the end of the day, he was smiling again and even said that he "sorta" liked it. My baby's growing up. One day down, 12-16 or more YEARS to go. Maybe I won't tell HIM that, just yet. I think I might just go cry myself to sleep now.

For posterity, here's Jake's account of the first day of school:

-Lined up, went to class. ("I cried a little in the morning. It was a new school and I was missing my old school. Some other kids cried a little, too.")

-Circle time- the teacher read The Kissing Hand and the kids put their nametags around their neck. Then they split into small groups to go through stations: Coloring and cutting out Chester the Raccoon from The Kissing Hand, Playdough (Jake made "a burrito and some spaghetti"), Making handprints with a heart-shaped sticker in the middle (their own kissing hand), and Reading books on your own.

-Snack time outside (Jake ate freeze dried strawberries), followed by a little play time on the small yard.

-Returned to class, another circle time. That may have been when Jake's teacher did a puppet show about Curious George and how he learns to "clean up his space." Or when the second teacher read It's Okay to Be Different. Or when the music teacher taught them about quarter notes and "one" notes (Jake sang "one" in different pitches for this. I have a feeling there was more to this, but the story got a little fuzzy around here.)

-Lunch happened sometime, too. Jake ate his goldfish. (Hey, I packed a sandwich and other things, but yes, that was all he ate for lunch.) Then more playtime on the small yard. Overall, I think he had a pretty good day. We'll see how tomorrow goes!