There are moments when I consider whether or not I really want to be a parent. Does this make me a bad mom? Like this morning... I don't know why Jake was having a hard time getting ready for school. I just know that everything turned into an argument, no matter what I said. Maybe he was still tired. Maybe he's coming down with whatever caused me to lose my voice last week. Or maybe he's just not a morning person. All I know is that it was a struggle for him to get dressed, eat breakfast, put on shoes and get out the door. And don't even get me started on finishing up the last of his homework from this week- that's a whole other post for me to write. I think I even breathed a sigh of relief as I drove off this morning and Chris took Jake to school.
And then I got some news on my way to work. Earlier, I received an email from a teacher at one of the schools where I provide physical therapy services. Call me ASAP was all it said. Curious, I called her on my way in to the clinic.
"I have to give you some bad news," she said. It was about one of the children that I treat at school twice a week. He passed away on Wednesday. It was a complete shock to everyone, including his family. He had had health issues in the past related to his metabolic disorder. And he was in the hospital now due to some difficulties with his medications. But earlier this week, we still thought he was being released and would be back at school before the end of the week. His teacher didn't know the details- his mom was of course pretty shaken up when she talked to her yesterday. The teacher promised to forward me the details about the funeral arrangements when she knew more.
I hung up in shock, and I think I'm still there. My heart is breaking for his family and everyone who knew and loved him. He was only four years old.
Please hold your children tight and tell them that you love them today. Everything else seems trivial.